


Kiss me (like you wanna be loved)

by artsyleo



Series: Tumblr prompt writing [1]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Coming Out, Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Inspired By Tumblr, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21637843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: "Oh, how dare you?! You can't just insult me and-""Oh please. Just shut up and kiss me."-I was gonna write an original but this one just screamed ballum to me.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Whitney Dean/Callum "Halfway" Highway
Series: Tumblr prompt writing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559737
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Kiss me (like you wanna be loved)

"... Will you marry me?"   
-  
Everything around him seemed to be clouded by a shroud of shame; every happy face reminding him of how he was *lying*, to himself, to Whitney, to his family, his friends. She pranced around the Vic like a peacock, preening under the attention that the ring on her finger got her. Callum knew it was a mistake to put it there; a *stupid* attempt to prove to someone (who, he was yet to figure out, but one face stood out in his mind) that he wasnt lying, and show the rest of the world that he was *happy*, that that part of his life - the part that Chris had owned since the day they locked eyes - was over, *for good*. Yet, he couldn't help but feel like they could all see it on his face as clear as day. Like something about him just screamed *queer*, like it had to Ben. *Ben Mitchell*. Even the thought of his name put a stab of pain through his heart.

Ben Mitchell, who's reputation preceded him as a cheat and a liar. 

Ben Mitchell, who hid so far behind his tough guy exterior that he had forgotten what it felt like to be in love for real. 

Ben Mitchell, who Callum had fallen so doubtlessly, unconditionally, head-over-heels in love with.

He had tried so hard not to. Listened to every rumour, every hushed word spoken about Ben, and his antics, his walking the wire between the law. He tried so hard to convince himself that he didn't love Ben, that it was just pent-up emotions after Chris' death. He thought that if he could just block Ben out, do something drastic to take the attention off him for a while, then he could recover, pass this phase in his life. He truly did love Whitney; she had had such terrible luck in her love life, and he couldn't bear to be just another screw up in her life. Callum just wanted to see her happy - if that meant giving up some of his happiness, then so be it.

"Why the long face, Mr. Dean?" 

He was brought out of his brooding by Mick clapping him on the back. He simply shrugged it off, smiling.   
"Proud of you, son." He then seemed to pause, probably seeing the pain buried behind a smile in Callum's face. "As long as you're happy, yeah?"  
"Of course I am!" Callum was quick to reassure Mick. "I love her. So much."   
Callum wasn't sure who he was trying to convince.   
Mick looked a little unsure, but left him to it nonetheless, dealing with another customer. 

*Stupid*, Callum thought. Of course Mick would know; he'd dealt with this shit once before with Johnny.   
Johnny, who was successful - who wasn't lying to himself, not anymore. Johnny, who was happy being gay. 

Of course, it was then that Callum caught *his* eye across the bar. Nursing a beer - probably one of many this evening, if the rumours of Ben were true - was the one man Callum was trying so hard to forget. His eyes shot through Callum from across the bar - not pleading anymore, just exasperated, fed up that Callum couldn't see within himself what was so blindingly obvious to anyone who knew where to look. 

Surprisingly, though, Ben looked away with a shake of his head, downing the rest of his beer and shoving past the crowds, slamming the door behind him - not that anyone but Callum seemed to notice, too caught up in the new fiancée stumbling around.  
When Whitney stumbled over to him, before she could speak he shrugged her off with a simple 'back in a minute' and followed Ben out into the cold street.  
-  
"I don't deal well with stalkers, Halfway."  
Ben turned around in the middle of the square, confronting the lost looking man behind him.  
Callum said nothing, too lost in his own head to force words out of his mouth.  
"You just gonna stare then? It's cold and I've got a home and a daughter to go to."  
"You had to be there, didn't you? Just to spite me," Callum bit back.   
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Cal-"  
"It weren't no accident you were right there when I said it. Don't lie to me."  
Ben just sighed.  
"What are you tryin' to prove, Callum? 'Cause no matter how hard you try, marrying her ain't gonna make you straight."  
"I ain't like you!"   
"You're lyin' to yourself! You're so blinded by your need to please everyone else-"   
"You don't know me! You just can't bear to leave me alone!" Callum shouted, coming closer to Ben - he had to work hard to keep his eyes from wandering from his eyes.   
"You," Ben said, stepping closer to Callum. "ain't worth my time."   
"Oh, how dare you?! You can't just insult me and-"  
"Oh please. Just shut up and kiss me."  
"What?"  
With that, Ben just surged forward, his lips crashing against Callum's, and that shroud was lifted - Callum found his peace in the dark night, with Ben's arms around his waist.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all bitches enjoyed this shit
> 
> Ya bitch Leo


End file.
